Oh boy.
Ummm, I don’t really think of myself as much of a leader.
I really don’t like being in charge of a group or a program. Or a bunch of people. I don’t want to make a bunch of decisions that affect a bunch of people, I don’t like dealing with people being unhappy with my decisions…there’s just a lot that I don’t like about leadership, at least in an official capacity.
In a smaller capacity, like one on one, I am happy to lead and take initiative.
Like when I’ve helped a friend declutter her house, I’ve had no problem driving that ship, so to speak.
Or when I’ve taught piano lessons, I’ve had no trouble telling my students what to do.
Or when it’s come to managing my household, my kids, and homeschooling, I haven’t had trouble seeing a way forward and leading that way.
So, I think I’m not really cut out to be a leader of a bunch of people; I’m better suited to lead people one by one.
And I think that’s fine, because if all of us were cut out to lead a bunch of people, who would be left to follow the leaders? We can’t all be in charge.
So. I think I feel fine about my leadership skills or lack thereof.
This is an area that I have definitely had to develop! I used to be very shy. When I was 30ish I decided to start a business with two other women. It grew and over 15 years later we have 18 employees. In those years many have stayed but some have come and gone. I’ve definitely developed my leadership skills. I’ve learned that a good leader doesn’t do it all. You ask questions and always learn. My partners take on what they are best at and I have found what I am best at. I ended up loving being a leader of a big group of people. I never thought I would and have to say that I’m good at it. It’s something I’m proud of. I’ve been able to design my business to work around raising my five kids too. That, I’m even more proud of.
Sara: That is so rad. Yay for you.
Thank you!
I think you are a leader by example with your blog by the way!
I agree! Kristen, you are an effective leader of a community here!
I agree, Kristen you are a leader for those that read your blog(s).
When I was in high school, we all went on a retreat (it was a Catholic school), and we talked about this very thing in our small groups. I was NOT a forceful or charismatic person in high school–or now . . .–but when I said that I didn’t think of myself as a leader, several people in that group said they disagreed and thought that I led more by example than by overt authority.
I was surprised by that, but I do think that is still true now. I will not give anyone an order (well, with the notable exception of my children, who I order around like a drill sargeant :-), and I will not give unsolicited advice, but people do notice what I do and ask me about it or even emulate it. That’s the kind of leadership I can handle. Being responsible for a large group or organization, though? No, thanks.
I am not a good follower so in my career ended up becoming the boss or leader relatively early. I think I am good at figuring out the end goal and then the 100s of steps it takes to get there and then assigning people those steps so it all gets done in the end. I also think I am good at playing to people’s strengths so that I get the best work out of them. However, I have to work very hard to remember to express appreciation for jobs well done. It is not that I don’t appreciate hard and good work, I just feel sort of fake-y saying, “Great job!” like I am some kindergarten teacher. (Nor do I like it when people say it to me. I know when I have done a good job, I don’t need someone else validating my work.) Finally, I know a lot of leaders are huggers and I am not; I am very physically affectionate with family but with others, not so much. The best thing about the virus is that people aren’t giving unsolicited hugs! I just hope that when the virus passes, huggers don’t try to make up for lost time.
I’m days behind.
Somehow I seem to always be shuffled into leadership roles, though I don’t enjoy it, and I don’t think of myself as a reliable leader because I don’t delegate well. I thrive as a delegate-ee with a lot of room to do things my way.
For example, even just putting up the Christmas trees at church yesterday, I was the one who people asked what to do next. Insert shrug i-dunno emoji here.