- there’s a calm atmosphere
- things don’t feel unpredictable
- a space is relatively tidy and clean
- a space smells good
- the people around feel safe
- things are not too noisy
- people are kind to me
And one other thing that didn’t seem to fit into a bullet point; basically, I feel at home when people feel familiar.
Like, I don’t see my Aunt Kathy and Uncle Ron very often, but they feel extremely familiar to me because there’s just a certain feel that my dad’s side of the family has, and so I immediately feel at home when I go to their house.
Their way of speaking, their way of running their home, the phrases they use, the foods they eat…it just all feels very satisfyingly familiar to me and I love it.
(Also, their house checks off everything else in the bulleted list above.)
What makes you feel at home?
P.S. Just for fun, here’s a picture of kid me with my uncle. 🙂
A lot of things you listed would be on my list. I’d also add that I feel at home when my kids are welcomed. My kids are little and they can be noisy and energetic. I feel at home if they are embraced rather than seen as a bother. Since I’m in a season where they pretty much go with me everywhere, this is a factor for ME being able to feel at home.
I’m the same with my dad’s family!
My dad passed suddenly in 2017, but his older brother Stephen is still kicking. Stephen is basically my dad on chill-pills, in terms of both personality and looks.
I only get to see Stephen about once every 2 years, but each time it’s a bit like seeing my dad in a parallel universe. Everything about him is so familiar and “safe”.
It’s the people in the home that make me feel at home, but also the home itself. I feel much more comfortable in older houses. New ones tend to have more plastic, more open space that makes sound carry, and a lot more constantly humming systems–central air/heat, computers, air filters, appliances. They all make a low level of background noise that puts me on edge. Older houses are quieter. Especially stone ones.
Too much mental analysis yields this: I feel at home when I’m at home or in my own vehicle (my daily driver, my husband’s vehicles, his farm equipment).
This is unexplainably somewhat different from where I feel comfortable, which is sort of the next concentric ring out and includes a bunch of different individual locations and homes, a handful of towns, and two geographic regions.
I feel more at home with some clutter. Too neat makes me feel like I’ll mess something up. And a space with books. And people I love. And where I feel comfortable opening a kitchen cabinet and grabbing a glass of water without having to ask.
I would include that when I am an overnight guest I feel at home when there is a comfy place to sit for reading, a good lamp to read by, a handy spot to park my mug, and a place to put my feet up.
Where there are animals. A house needs cats and dogs to feel comfortable and alive to me.