I don’t know that there are a lot of people that I exactly clash with.
I mean, if someone drives me crazy or I disagree with them about multitudes of things, I am still usually non-confrontational enough to prevent an actual clash.
So maybe I should answer this: “What types of people do you not like to be around?”
I dislike confrontation, so I don’t enjoy being around confrontational people.
I don’t like being around people who talk incessantly about themselves.
(Or people who just flat-out talk incessantly. Let’s have some volleying in the conversation!)
I don’t love being around people who seem to be trying to impress or shock me. This may be perverse of me, but when I get the feeling someone is trying to do that, I sometimes will purposely become unimpressable or unshockable.
(Is this possibly a character flaw in me? Yes.)
I don’t like being around bossy people. I don’t really want to be a leader, but I don’t want everyone telling me what to do either! I like to manage myself.
And I don’t like being around know-it-all sorts of people, who are certain that their beliefs and opinions, large and small, are The One True And Only Way To Think. Humility and openness is fun to be around; pride is not.
Geez. I feel like this prompt is making me sound like an extremely picky person. I promise I am actually pretty easy-going.
What types of people do you not like to be around?
P.S. I’m super curious to hear if your answers overlap with mine. Basically, I’m wondering if the things that irritate me are universal or are just things that clash with my personality.)
P.P.S. I can definitely show love to people who are bossy, conversation-hogging, know-it-alls. And I think that’s something I should do! But I’m answering the question more like, “What are the sort of people you don’t ENJOY being around?” I can be kind to a conversation-hogger, but I will not find myself pining for that person’s company.
Interesting.
I’m led to think it’s not the other person but my response to that person that makes this kind of an uncomfortable question. (I can’t seem to word that quite the way I want to.)
Anyway, I’ve tried really hard to grow out of clashing with people. Success has been modest, but hard-won, and I’ll take it with gratitude. There are two individuals with whom I do best with no interaction, but thankfully we are able to be polite if circumstances throw us together. Shared history, however casual, has a habit of occasionally doing that.
Generally, I agree with your groups of people. Sometimes I kind of fall into those categories, which is unfortunate. It’s why I don’t play Trivial Pursuit (funny not funny).
I also don’t really like being around slow-talkers. One would think this makes no difference, but it makes me impatient. It’s an example of how it’s not the person but my response to the person that makes me want to avoid him/her, both for the sake of my brain that’s prone to self-flagellation after dumb behavior, and for the sake of the other person’s feelings.
I think your insights are pretty universal. I especially agree about becoming “unimpressable or unshockable,” I’ve become quite good at that with some co-workers. 😉
I’m fairly non-confrontational too and I don’t usually ‘clash’ with people but the personality that I find most annoying is the passive-aggressive type who oozes fake niceness and constantly offers backhanded compliments (‘that dress looks great on you, too bad they didn’t have it in blue.) And, yes, I work with one!
This is thinker!
People that try to show of their money when they talk. Naming dropping name brands etc… Yuck.
People that dominate the conversation. My step-mother-in-law. In my 25 years I’ve known her and me asking her in conversations how are you, how was work, how are you feeling, what have you been doing lately,…after answering she has literally never once returned a question about me. Really! Ha! That’s her personality. She also knows everything about every topic. But I am nice snd let her talk. All these years…
People who insist on sharing their racist, homophobic, sexist views. Especially if they do it in my house (obviously pre-Covid) and in front of my children.
People who are convinced their way is the only way &insist on sharing their view. I don’t mind those who disagree with me,and often just agree to disagree &don’t discuss politics or religion with them. I have blocked many on FB . I just do not want to fight or read garbage .
I think that your list would be my list as well! I do like listening to people with different points of view and I’m open to changing my mind about things if I’m presented with factual information that supports the drawing of a different conclusion. I am open to growth and development and gravitate toward genuine, authentic people and not phony people. I can also “agree to disagree” with people and still have contact with them. I am a Christian and I have a friend that I grew up with that isn’t a Christian and we still have contact with each other without trouble, although we’re not best friends.
I’m relatively easy going and get on with almost everyone and can fake it enough to have good relationships at work with people I’d really rather not spend too much time with. Unfortunately our new head (I work in a school) is truly awful. He’s a bully and I’ve been gaslighted by him so badly that I’ve handed in my notice with no job to go to!! I have to serve a terms notice so I’m ok til mid February. The relief of sending my resignation was immense and I slept for 10 hours straight. I love my work and many of my colleagues but sometimes you just have to walk away.
After I’ve left I shall NEVER speak to him again and if our paths cross he will be invisible to me.
Phew that was quite cathartic to write that down!
Good job. That relief is good for body and soul!
I agree with you – and everyone that’s commented as well. lol Those personality types are crazy making!
I worry that the reason these types of people bother me so much is because I subconsciously see those tendencies in myself, which really keeps me on my toes to try and not go there. I do NOT want to be that way.
I hate feeling in competition with others and/or that I listen and listen to them and they don’t give any reciprocity. I’m not a diva or starving for attention; I appreciate common courtesy and do my best to give the same.
I would say you’re feelings are normal and wise. If you’re too far to any side, you’re not balanced or open to new ideas and situations.
Passive people are hard for me to be around, especially if they complain about how mean everyone is to them when all it would take is for them to stand up and say no. People can only take advantage of them if you let them.
And religious people who won’t stop trying to convert you to their religion. I envy believers their faith and don’t mind people talking about their beliefs, but some people are so pushy that they are shoving people away from, not toward, God. And as soon as you start bashing someone else’s religion, I am out of there.
I agree about passive people — and relatedly, when people think they’re the victims of circumstance when in fact their circumstance is their own choice. There are some factors that make it tough to change a circumstance (poverty is maybe the biggest?) but when this isn’t the case, then make a move.
I agree about pushy religious people. But. I am a pastor’s wife, and I want to offer an insight. People frequently behave differently around me because they assume I’m “judging” them because I am a pastor’s wife. I’m not.
Also, make sure you’re not assuming somebody is being pushy if they are simply telling you about their lives (For example, “Well, we can’t do soccer practice during Holy Week because we have church.”)
I’ve been hurt by both of these attitudes before. Religious folks who aren’t pastor’s wives have also dealt with this.
Kristen, I’m the same way about handling someone I think is purposely trying to shock or impress me. I’ve become expert at replying “Oh, really” or “That’s interesting” in a very deadpan manner (even if I’m shrieking inside, lol). I hate emotional manipulation.