I don’t know if this is a universal experience, but it’s pretty consistent for me: when I am feeling really mad or really sad/discouraged, at that moment, I find myself thinking that I will feel this way forever.
Like, “I will never calm down from this. I will never feel ok.”
I feel pretty silly typing it, but of course, I am not at my most rational when I am really angry or really sad. At that point, the logical part of my brain is not really online.
I wish that my future self could remember, in the angry/sad moment, that the unpleasant feelings and thoughts will not last forever.
This would beneficial for a couple of reasons, not the least of which is that I would see the sense in doing some calming activities (taking a break from a hard conversation, doing some breathing, doing something distracting).
The problem is that if I think I will feel this way forever, the idea of doing something to calm down seems pretty dumb. Why do those calming things if I think I will never feel calm again?
Also, if I could remember that unpleasant feelings and emotions come and go, I would be able to feel a little bit less distressed by their presence. A lot of the distress comes from thinking the negative feelings will never go away!
Will I successfully remember this the next time I am flooded by unpleasant emotions? Well, a person can hope. 😉
No matter how old I get, I want to remember that it’s never ok to ask a lady if she’s pregnant! This. Will. End. Poorly.
Also, I would love to remember all of the fun things about having little kids, but I already find myself forgetting so much from when my 7yo was a toddler. I think I’ll just need to remember to take more videos because I want myself to remember their sweet little voices and I don’t know that I can.
I want my (near) future self to remember what it was like to be a teenager/young adult. My oldest is juuuust entering the edges of the teenage years, and I’m already seeing the increased worry about what other people think, desire to fit in, anxiety about different issues. My first instinct is always to internally roll my eyes and give him a lecture about being your own person, finding your own way, etc., etc. But I have to stop myself and remember how I felt those same things when I was young, and my current reaction to them is coming from a 41-year-old brain and experience, not a 12-year-old one.
Not that I can’t still give him–and the other three, when they get there–lectures, but it can come from empathy rather than superiority, if I remember that.
Mine is somewhat like Kristen’s. I want future me to remember that the bad times don’t last. Sometimes, it sure seems like they go on forever, but they don’t. And I have to remember not to adopt the attitude that I did when my mother once told me, “Honey, this won’t go on this way forever. Things always change,” about something or other, and I retorted, ” Yes, they always change – sometimes they get worse!”
“Remember to have fun!”