Most people would probably have multiple possible answers to this question, and even though anger is not a dominant emotion for me, I still can think of more than one way to answer this.
I think one of the things that makes me the most angry is this: being accused of something that is not true. In other words, being utterly misunderstood has made me spitting mad on more than one occasion.
For instance, I am a diehard over-thinker. For better or for worse, I put a lot of thought into what I say, what I write, what I do, and how I relate to people.
I hate to hurt people, and that drives a lot of my thinking.
And because I hate to hurt people so much, I will often choose to sacrifice what I want if it will help me avoid hurting someone.
So, if someone says, “Kristen, you are so thoughtless. You’re just trying to hurt me and make yourself feel better.”, that feels like a punch in the gut. It’s an accusation that is the opposite of what’s really going on inside of me, and that makes me angry.
On a related note, I hate, hate, hate to have my motives assumed. No one else can truly know why I am doing something, and I don’t want someone else to to try to tell me what’s going on inside of my head and heart.
Give me the benefit of the doubt. Or at least ask me about why I’m doing what I’m doing. That’s so much less frustrating than assuming!
One more while I’m at it: one of the only other things that has produced such sudden anger in me is when someone has been unkind to one of my kids.
If someone says something mean, takes something from them, or physically hurts them, my mama bear side comes out and I feel angry about the injustice.
In fact, just thinking about some examples of this from the past is making me feel kind of mad as I type.
Whoo. This was not a very cheerful prompt! Time to take some calming breaths and think about something happier! 😉
People trying to tell me what to do. Any people, but especially when the directives come from “people” (groups, governments large and small, etc.) who I don’t feel have any understanding of my own life. I’m being general here and staying away from politics, but I will say that rural people REALLY do not appreciate legislation coming from the urban areas (and honestly, almost all legislation comes from urban areas and urban dwellers) that obviously takes no account of another way of life.
That’s a good one. I live in CA and the government only seems to think big cities like San Francisco snd LA exist , not my tin mountain town of 101 people! Really, that’s all over.
Mine is similar. Being unjustly accused but the part that really makes me angry is not being able to do anything about it. Sometimes you have to let it go for various reasons and that’s what drives me nuts and keeps me up at night. I guess it’s more the fact of not being able to fix it. I’m a fixer and when I can’t fix things and people unjustly think it’s my fault, THAT makes me angry. Ooh, now I’m all worked up!! Ha!
That’s hilarious. Kristin stole my answer.
I didn’t try to go to the Air Force Academy in spite of recruitment because I’m not a fan of people trying to tell me what to do, and it has really just escalated from there.
Isn’t it crazy that buying into Jesus doesn’t feel like being told what to do?
If I had to have a second answer, and when don’t I?, it would be the assumption that bigger is better — everything from handing off decisions about township governance to the county, to local grocer vs. national chain stores, to the biggest farm in the neighborhood just getting bigger instead of opportunities being offered to the smaller operators.
Unfairness, whoa even writing the word makes my heart start racing! This extends from within my own environment – family, friends, colleagues to the world in general and don’t even start me on referee decisions in sport!!
Your momma bear reactions Kristen strike a chord with me too. I’ve just had a long chat with my eldest son abut issues with his long distance relationship (we are in England, she’s in Spain) and whilst I’m very fond of his girlfriend I had to fight the urge to yell “it’s all her fault”. It’s not at all but I am the momma and no one crosses my boys!
I’m an easygoing person, but I go from 0 to 60 when I feel like my colleagues and I are being taken advantage of by other departments at work. Like they dump the crud work on us because their time is too valuable. That’s when the internal mantra “I love getting a paycheck, I love getting a paycheck, I love getting a paycheck…” comes in handy, lol.
I have had a lifelong issue with being angry when people dont appreciate my efforts. I recently read the book Unoffendable by Brandt Hanson and it really helped me see things in a different way. Now when people make me angry, rather than stew about it I can let it go much more easily. I feel much lighter and happier.
That sounds like such an interesting book!