Honestly, the last time I remember being lonely was in 1999.
I think this lengthy period of non-loneliness is due to two factors:
- I’m not a person who gets lonely easily
- My life has not involved a lot of alone-ness since 1999.
The occasion in 1999 happened during my first pregnancy, while I was not feeling very well. It was a Saturday and Mr. FG was gone all day helping someone (maybe someone was moving?)
We lived in a little basement apartment at the time, there was no internet to entertain me (I think we had pay-as-you-go AOL?), we had no cable, I didn’t have any books to read, I felt too bad to do any of my hobbies, and I remember just feeling bored and lonely.
The fact that this 21 year old memory sticks out in my brain is testament to how unusual of a feeling that is for me. Normally when I’m by myself, I can almost always think of:
- something productive to do
- something fun to do (I have plenty of hobbies that I can do by myself)
When my husband leaves for a trip and I’m by myself with children. This happens at least twice a year, because he is not a man who is happy staying in one place. He needs those trips for his own emotional well-being. He almost always takes at least one kid with him, but man, it is not fun being the one left at home. I’m not a traveler, so that part doesn’t appeal to me, but being home alone and responsible for all children and animals is kind of lonely.
If I was actually by myself, with nothing depending on me for survival, I would be perfectly fine. It’s just the weight of responsibility to bear on my own makes for a lonely feeling.
This last trip–the last two weeks– was particularly bad, as there were an awful lot of things to worry about both at home and in the country at large. So I was both lonely AND very worried the entire time. No more trips for awhile now, though. I hope.
I can sympathize with that. When I answered this prompt, the other time that came to mind was the December when everyone in the house got pneumonia except for me.
The feeling of having to take care of everyone and everything all by myself was a little bit like loneliness…so much responsibility being the sole nurse on top of taking care of the home and Christmas shopping and such was a lot.
So, what you said makes sense to me!
This is an interesting question after the introverted vs extroverted question. I was the extroverted person which is even more interesting in that I am saying that I feel like I never get lonely. It may have something to do with the fact that I have 5 kids (2 are moved out) and my own business. But really, it’s just not my personality.
But I do remember over 20 years ago distinctly a time I was lonely. Must of been bad to have it stuck in my mind. I was newly moved away to college and my parents newly moved to a new state. It was that but was mostly that I was in a tiny studio apartment in a city. It was lonely and depressing to have my bedroom, living, kitchen all in the same four walls. That got lonely. Maybe that’s why now I live in a place where I can see trees for miles?!
I can’t say it happens to me all that often. Books have always been friends. I cannot imagine how difficult it must have been for you during that time with nothing to read. Present me wants to go back and hug past you. Glad you made it through!
Also, I’ve been meaning to email you, but since I’m “here”…When I signed up for Kristen Prompted, I stopped receiving new TFG post notifications, boo! Once I follow the link to this site, there is no way to click over to TFG. I have zero coding skills, but I wonder if it would be possible to add a link so I could get to my favorite blog of all time?
Hmm, that is so weird! I will look and see if I can figure out what’s going on with your FG subscription.