I sat here with this prompt for a while, trying to figure out what to say.
Body image is a huge topic!
For me personally, body image has not been an enormous struggle. Some might say that this is because my body type is pretty conventionally acceptable but I’m not sure that’s it.
I have known oodles of people who look like me but who really, really struggle with body image, so that in itself is not enough to avoid body image issues.
I mean, I have my insecurities, but they have never been serious enough to disrupt my life much at all.
My basic thought is that my appearance is quite middle-of-the-road, and therefore I don’t spend much time worrying about it. I am not ugly, but I am not super-model material either, and that’s fine.
I think the most important thing about me is who I am, not what my body looks like. My body will change and shift as I age, and these shifts and changes will likely not be improvements.
But who I am can shift and change in a positive direction as I age, so that’s a much better thing to focus on than my body.
Basically, my not-a-dietician-or-a-mental-health-professional thought is that a healthy body image is achieved not by convincing myself that my body is flawlessly gorgeous (it is not!), but by believing that my bodily looks are one of the least important things about me.
And hopefully that will help me keep my changing looks in perspective as I age. Stay tuned. 😉
P.S. I also think that having realistic expectations of my body is helpful and I like that there are a number of influencers who are making an effort to cut through the impossible images of body perfection we see on the internet. For example, I love how Danae Mercer is on a mission to help young women escape the unrealistic expectations enabled by the internet. You can find her on Instagram here.
And regardless of your age, if you’ve ever struggled with thoughts about your cellulite, I think you might find her account encouraging. 🙂
I sat here for awhile with this, too, as many things ran through my head. This is a tricky topic to talk about, but actually I think that’s one of the main things I was contemplating: How sad it is that it IS such a big topic. How angry it makes me that it has to be discussed ALL THE TIME. That should not be. I appreciate that the newer positive body image content all over now is a reaction to the more entrenched negative body image content we’ve all lived with since the dawn of visual media, but honestly, I am tired of ALL the content. The fact that it’s such a topic for discussion seems to be a symptom of the problem, not a solution.
I suppose because I mostly view my body as the machine that allows me to live my life, and I resent people (by which I mostly mean “media”) trying to make it the focus of my life. It is not. I have a lot of other things I would rather focus on, thanks, and I think they are much more important. This body I have needs to function properly to allow me to do the things that I want to do, and that is all I ask of it.
Stupidly enough the only bodily part I dislike are my hands and possibly my wrists as I cannot wear bracelets–all too small for me. I was (at 83 I have shrunk down 3 inches or so) 5′ 9″. Always skinny with little shape until motherhood developed my breasts.
Men thought me “pretty” or “interesting”. It would have been great to be “beautiful” but you can’t have everything! Now the wheel seems to have come full-circle as my husband took a picture of me last week saying that “you really have an interesting face”.
My daughter, a petite 4’11” watches her weight all the time and needs reassurance as to her appearance. I would describe her, but never to her, as a tiny, rounded, very sexy bundle.
It is so restful having arrived at old age. My mind is still fine and I am not too wrinkled. My husband is long and lean, 6’2″”, and has been so all his adult life. His mind is fine, too.
I’m curious how your exercise routine plays into your thoughts on your body image. I think you’ve mentioned kettlebells and running in the past. What motivates you to exercise if not for body image reasons? Of course, there’s no pressure to answer this. If it is too personal, I understand. I’m about your age/stage of life (even homeschooled my kids). I’ve always been smallish, 5 feet 1 inch and just a bit over 100lbs. I run 3-5 miles most days, practice yoga regularly and lift weights to stay toned. Partly because I enjoy being active, partly for staying healthy but also it’s important to me that my small frame not appear scrawny. Since I’ve been active most of life that has not been much of an issue but I think it has always been at the root of why I keep active and intentional with an exercise plan. I can’t grow any taller but I can, with discipline, have a healthy body that will hopefully keep me strong as I age.
So, when I exercise, I am usually not thinking about changing the way my body looks. I exercise to get stronger, to build bone density, to fight the loss of muscle that comes with aging, and to help my mental health.
In order to make significant bodily changes, I’d have to commit to a stricter diet, and I am just not fussed enough about my appearance to make that kind of commitment!
I am glad that I am older (60+) and was not that knowledgeable about “the perfect body” when I was younger. My desire to eat when I am hungry has always trumped my desire to have a certain body size. That meant I never dieted and thus never ruined my metabolism. I still have a very good appetite and yet I am not considered overweight. I am thankful everyday for all the things I can do with my body: keep busy all day, participate in a lot of physical activities, sleep well, eat well, etc.
I weighed over 11 pounds at birth and have been fighting weight my entire life, often unsuccessfully. Plus I was born with not one but two genetic illnesses that have had a huge impact on my life. I pretty much hate my body, the way it looks and the way it (doesn’t) work. I do have a good brain, though, and so years ago I finally made my peace with not having a beautiful body to go with it. It did not help that my younger sister was jaw dropping beautiful, with men literally turning to look at her as she walked by them on the street. It did help that my husband has always seemed to love my body, despite the fluctuating weights and the scars I have from almost two dozen surgeries over the years. When we were first together and he would say I looked nice or he mentioned liking something about my body, I would tell him to stop lying to me, that I knew how I looked. He just kept on doing it and eventually I came to believe him, although there is still a part of me that thinks he is a little crazy or blind.
I’ve continually struggled with my weight my whole life and have more or less given up. I also lost almost all of my hair in high school so dating was extremely difficult for me in those oh so formative years. I was also constantly mocked about everything with regards to my looks in my teenage years.
I know people (particularly professionals) like to frame body image as solely a women’s issue and I think they do boys a great disservice by doing so. Basically the only advice I was ever given was “Well you have to impress girls some other way.”
I still wonder how I ever got married and I can’t help but hate the way I look in every picture I am in (which isn’t many at all and I try to not make them public.)
I think body image is driven by how you are raised and the language families use about bodies. My family was, is and always will be obsessed with body image in a critical fashion. I grew up with such abuse, I have never been able to totally recover and probably never will. It is critically important for parents and other adults to refrain from critically commenting on a child’s body. Negative comments to a developing mind are forever.
Interesting viewpoints here. I’m very average. I did work (as a teen) to not care what others might think — because it was mostly in my head, not any kind of reality. I don’t pay a lot of attention to appearance care, which isn’t really doing myself a service.
Also, insta etc. isn’t part of my interests because none of my life will look like other people’s lives, and it’s fine. I also don’t want to feel bad about being average.