I wish that I could be good at being spontaneous.
I am really, really, really not good at spontaneity.
And this is even more true if the spontaneity is coming at me from someone else.
Sometimes, even when it seems like I’m being spontaneous, I’m actually not.
For instance, sometimes I “spontaneously” suggest an after-dinner kayak trip to Mr. FG, but I suggest that because I’ve been noticing all day that the weather is nice and so I’ve been thinking that it might be nice to get out there after dinner. Also, I don’t normally have much on my schedule after dinner; it’s kind of a planned empty spot in my day.
Or if Mr. FG and I are on a trip by ourselves, I might say, “Hey, let’s go see Thing X.” or, “Let’s go walk and get ice cream.” But that’s easy because, in my head, I already set aside those days for relaxing and doing things like sightseeing and ice-cream eating.
I think my love for planning is the direct cause of my deplorable spontaneity skills; because I am always thinking ahead, I always have an idea of what I’d like to be doing tonight or tomorrow morning or tomorrow night, etc.
So then when someone suggests something spontaneous, it feels like it’s bumping my previously planned thing out of that spot.
I suppose if I lived in a household full of other planners, I might feel very content with my planning tendencies. But I live with a bunch of rather spontaneous people, so I often think that life would be much, much easier if I were like them!
On the other hand, it’s good that someone in this house likes to plan because otherwise, we might run into trouble. Some things in life DO require planning. 😉
You and me both with the planning/spontaneity thing.
Something I wish I could be is more joyful. You know those people who just seem to be able to really, really enjoy things? The ones who seem to extract all the pleasure from their lives that they can? Yeah, that’s not me. I’m just not wired that way. Not that I’m gloomy or depressed or anything, just too uptight, I guess.
The joyful thing is very interesting to ponder; there are some areas of life where I am able to do that (like if it is a cool, dry weather day, I feel the joy of that from my head to my toes, and I can’t help saying something about it multiple times throughout the day), but there are definitely some times when I am too busy and goal-oriented to stop and take joy in something.
More assertive. I don’t mean aggressive, just more assertive. I have frequently hesitated to disagree, share my opinion or state my own preferences, which is often unfair to the people with whom I’m conversing. How else will they know how I feel/what I want/my idea if I don’t say something? I’m better than I used to be about it, but I have a long way to go.
I feel you SO MUCH on this.
I wish I could be efficient and focused at paperwork. I wish I could be a person who tackles that paperwork willingly and cheerfully, even getting the hardest, most dreaded things out of the way first! I wish my internal clock made me a person who gets up in the morning ready to get at my tasks and enjoy the rest of the day afterwards, instead of procrastinating. I get really excited about being spontaneous and jumping up from the desk! In some ways I guess I’m better than I used to be… and I’m willing to keep trying. Something more toward a happy medium would be good for both of us!
If only you could give me a dash of your spontaneity, and I could send you a dash of my planning skills! We would be unstoppable.